People often tend to confuse love making with having sex. Love making is a mental act while having sex is a physical one. There is an important distinction between the two.
The latter precedes the former. If the former is incomplete or uninformed, the latter is devoid of any interlinking sensibilities. In the words of the famous American actor Woody Allen, “Sex alleviates tension, love causes it”.
Apparently he wants to say that for something to be alleviated; you first have to cause it. That is where love making comes to picture, or rather it can be said that it is the picture itself, and the act of releasing tension would, thus, solely be dependent on how much of it was caused in the first place.
Many Indians accord greater importance to the latter than the former, whereas it should be the other way round.
A Sexual Wellbeing survey done some time back among 26 countries revealed that 48 percent of Indians do not have ample information available on both love making and having sex. This is that chunk of population which does not have enough information on intimacy and its aftermath being an emotional act in its entirety.
`The control centre of healthy sexuality lies in a sexual mind than a sexual body. The problem compounds itself when the modern man does everything to tone up the body than tone up the mind.`
Emotions have an organic nature than a physical one; when the whole act weighs towards the physical side, it ceases to be tasteful. It becomes a selfish act of taking rather than giving pleasure to one’s partner.
Given the very organic nature of love making, this is one reason why ancient Indian scriptures including Ayurveda and Vātsyāyana’s Kama Sutra that, apart from discussing the spiritual side of love, discusses the gracious and virtuous side of love making and making sex.
Not many people know that Kama Sutra has ten chapters dedicated to caressing, kissing, types of embraces, means to stimulate desire, biting etc and the final act. Many researchers believe that such love making is made possible mostly by people whose ‘organic sides’ of lives is preserved.
The organic part of a sexual act is controlled by brain; perhaps one reason why they say that it is between ears that the sex lies than between the legs. The control centre of healthy sexuality lies in a sexual mind than a sexual body. The problem compounds itself when the modern man does everything to tone up the body than tone up the mind.
This is why sexual dysfunction and burnout has become common nowadays. Research reveals that this is comparable to modern man’s forefathers. And it is despite the fact that healthcare facilities have evolved over the years. But the focus has been more on inorganic side than the organic one.
Age-old systems to strengthen organic side of wellbeing have been pushed aside and unnatural methods of strengthening p – for example arousal –encouraged. These have been seen doing ten harms for one good and effects are often short-lived.
Take, for example, male aphrodisiacs – modern synthetic drugs used to stimulate sexual desire. Sexual desire – yes these drugs do increase temporarily but do not trigger the passion needed to arouse willingness for love making, which is essential for a fulfilling act.
Leave alone dozens of side effects; the most notorious ones being impaired and blurred vision, photophobia, nasal congestion and in certain cases loss of peripheral vision.
Regular use of organic aphrodisiacs, on the other hand, provides lasting effects without any adverse effects on the body. “This is why”, remarks a 2013 study published in Pharmacognosis Review, “the hunt for natural supplements for satisfying sexual encounters is being intensified”.